


What the fuck is a tijuana bible

by vampirecult



Category: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Other, just smthn from my slasher blog, reader gets up to some naughty business ;)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 14:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17684921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampirecult/pseuds/vampirecult
Summary: request prompt:"Here is a Bubba idea: Bub and his lover find a dusty stack of tijuana bibles under a floorboard or something, tucked away in the Sawyer house? :3c"





	What the fuck is a tijuana bible

**Author's Note:**

> seriously i had no idea what a tijuana bible was before this day and im still reeling
> 
> if ur interested in requestin smthn hmu on tumblr!

You were having one of those rare free days inside the Sawyer house, lazing around in an upstairs room, trying to stay cool using a fan and the minimal air conditioning the place had. It was hard to combat the sweltering heat of backwoods Texas summer outside when there were only two electric fans in the house and shitty AC to boot. You really couldn’t do anything but lay there on the floor trying to soak in the coolness of the wood. The fan next to you blew dust in your face every now and then, sweat making lint stick to your arms and cheeks.

You realized maybe this wasn’t the best idea, considering the floors hadn’t been cleaned in a couple months (times were busier than usual around the farm, what with all the college kids on vacation deciding to take an adventurous road trip through the backroads of Texas). It was then that you decided you might as well use this free time to get some well-needed house maintenance done. You weren’t the type to shy away from chores, especially since taking up residence with the Sawyer family. The work focused your mind and gave you something to do besides agonize over the temperature, anyways. 

Downstairs, there was a mop and bucket with various other supplies thrown inside of it. Sponges, rags, horsehair brushes, the works. Lord knows the floors were gonna need hard scrubbing. You retrieved soap from the top shelf of the hall closet, filled your bucket with lukewarm tap water and made your way upstairs. Best to start from the top down so you didn’t disturb anyone on the bottom floor just yet. There was a lot of traffic downstairs, especially at midday. You didn’t want your hard work to be undone by dirty shoes and teenagers’ inner viscera just yet.

First was the hallways, then the bathroom, and finally came the bedrooms. Your process was effective: get the floors wet, mop with soapy water ‘til the grime sludged off, scrub with a hard brush, then dry using one of the only decent towels left in the house. It was hard work, but it was rewarding once you saw the shine return to the weathered floorboards. You know they’d just get mucked up again, but you felt good about your progress anyway. 

It was in Chop Top’s room that you hit a roadblock. His room was grungy as hell, and he probably wouldn’t appreciate the intrusion, but if he caused a ruckus about you tidying up a bit you knew Bubba would make a storm right back at him. So, you went in as you pleased. Thing was… Chop Top’s floor was mostly carpet. He’d laid it down shoddily a couple months ago, claiming it made his room feel  _groovy_ , but as you stood in the center of the room the only thing you felt was tacky and stuffy. 

You glanced downwards, briefly wondering if the Sawyer’s had ever owned a vacuum in their life, when you saw a slim vision of wood underneath Chop Top’s bed.  _Aha!_  Apparently, he had been too lazy to uproot his bed when he had placed the carpet down, opting instead to cut a bed shaped square from the material and stencil around the furniture.  _Figured._

The mop and other supplies were abandoned by the doorway, kept open so as not to encourage suspicion, and you got down on all floors to investigate under the bed. Underneath was a collection of various paraphernalia, band merchandise, CDs, several snowglobes (all from Vegas), and lots of dead bugs. A couple burnt out doobies were littered around as well but you weren’t too surprised by this discovery.

You began carefully sweeping your arm underneath, trying to push the dirty contents outwards to get access to the floorboards for proper cleaning. Things were going rather smoothly until a rough scratching sensation crossed your inner arm. You yelped in surprise, wondering if a spider had decided to attack your invading limb, before realizing it was a loose floorboard you’d collided with. You took a moment to recover before investigating, wiggling the board up until it surprisingly fell to its side, revealing a concave underneath. 

Now  _this_ interested you. Your inner snoop came alive wondering what Chop Top could be hiding under here, with all his other junk. Lord knows everyone in the Sawyer house had their secrets, but Chop Top’s secrets admittedly intrigued you more than the others. You pulled yourself further into the abyss to get better reach into the hole. Your hands searched hesitantly for a bit inside before your fingers brushed against what felt like paper. _Money? Nude photographs? Envelopes full of drugs?_ Any of these were a possibility. What you pulled out, however, sent your head whirling. 

 _Porn. It was porn._  Not just any porn, either, this was  _vintage_. The old stuff.  _Where the fuck did he get his hands on this?_

Despite yourself, you didn’t immediately toss the bundle of tijuana bibles back in their dank cave under Chop Top’s bed. You sat there on your belly covered in dust and grime, and like a sweaty-palmed teenage boy, opened one up in earnest. It had been a while since you’d gotten to look at stuff like this and curiosity forced your hand. 

It wasn’t like you were some nervous virgin. You’d seen all this before. Bubba could attest to that, having had enough romps with you in the past to describe in detail just how dextrous you were bed (if he could ever cohesively speak, that is; currently he expresses his adoration with yelling and various other excited noises). 

Even so… you couldn’t help yourself. You flipped through page after page, losing yourself in the sepia images full of naked women and men consumed by debauchery, almost forgetting you’d left the door open behind you. 

That’s why you almost shit yourself the moment the floorboards creaked near the doorway. Thick grisled palms wrapped around your ankles and yanked you out from under your secret cave of hidden sexual wonders. Your wanton self-indulgence was exposed as the dirty comics fell around you in tandem. 

You would have screamed and fussed if you hadn’t seen the face of your loved one hovering above you like some tall, dirt-crusted monolith. He cocked his head, shooting an inquisitive chirp downwards to you, and a smile leaked onto your face. 

“I was just… cleaning. Yeah, ‘cause Chop Top’s room is  _shit_.” You rubbed the back of your head sheepishly, trying to laugh through your frayed nerves. “Guess I got distracted looking through his junk. Don’t tell him, yeah?”

You pressed a finger over your lips to signify that _this is our secret_ , and Bubba nodded enthusiastically. He loved when you let him in on secrets. It was then that his attention directed to the open magazines beside you. He leaned down and picked the closest one up, turning it over in his hands. You watched his observant eyes scan slowly across the pages. 

“S-sorry, didn’t mean to but I guess I found Chop’s uh…  _secret stash._  Got a little carried away in my snooping this time…” You stood from your heap on the floor, wringing your hands together. 

Bubba didn’t respond. He looked up at you then back down to the page several times. 

“Mm!” He spoke up. “Yuh, muh!”

“Huh?” You were confused, until Bubs began pointing back and forth from you to a specific page he’d found. Then, it clicked.

“Yuh muh!”  _You and me._

“You… you wanna do this with me?” You took in the page he’d found, and felt a buzzing in your abdomen at the sight. It was one you’d read before he’d found you, arguably one of the dirtiest in the collection. The couple depicted went at it with abandon, fucking in every way they could within just two ten-panel pages. It had you sweating, and not only because of the hot temperature leaking in through the windows. 

Bubba nodded excitedly as you realized his idea, dropping the comic to gather you in his arms and push you back onto Chop Top’s stained, unkempt bed. You laughed in adoration at his eagerness and pulled his face to yours, kissing him through his mask. The built-up tension you’d had since discovering the hidden bibles came undone at once, and you accepted Bubba’s gracious offer of relief. There was only one thing…

“Hey, Bubs?” You gasped between kisses. “Let’s uh, let’s go to our room for this. Chop’s room is gross enough without us messing around in it.”  _That, and Bubba’s room actually had a lock on it._

With that, you were hoisted up and over Bubba’s shoulder, packed down the hall for what you knew was gonna take up the rest of your afternoon. You wouldn’t get to finish your cleaning, but you would trade a clean house for sweet Bubba lovin’ any day. 

**Author's Note:**

> rest assured chop top found out his porn stash had been tampered with and pitched a fit lmao


End file.
